BIOGRAPHY and HISTORY
I was born on Armistice Day 1944 in Butler, Pennsylvania, in the United States of
America, the firstborn child of Alta Noreign Donaldson and Clyde Alvin Rice, the first grandchild of my maternal grandparents, Anna Marie Christie and Elliott Donaldson. Until I was two years of age, my father
served in the U.S. Army and thus was gone much of the time. My mother and I lived with Grandma and Grandpa Donaldson "down home" in RFD Chicora, which was a wonderful place to be a child.
Even though it was said to be a rough time in our nation's history, my grandparents owned their land, which provided well for us. They kept chickens, so we had eggs and an occasional chicken dinner. Neighbors a mile away had cows, so we had milk and butter. At the top of the hill, there was an orchard of peach, apples, plum and pear trees and another handy yellow apple tree in the front corner of the yard and at the other end of the property, toward the east, was a prolific crabapple tree. Along the road toward the neighbor and the mailbox, a black cherry tree and a sour cherry tree produced abundantly. And far to the back of the property was a big black walnut tree, in the shade of which grew patches of blackberries and groves of elderberry bushes.
Below the orchard, on the hill, there was a vineyard, and although I don't remember any winemaking, we had jelly and preserves in abundance. In addition, a concord grapevine, which grew on a fence alongside the house, climbed up into the big pine tree in the front corner of the front yard. I amused myself as a child, by climbing up into the pine tree (getting pine tar all over me in the process) to eat grapes. Behind the house, beyond the rhubarb patch, on the way down to the woods and the natural spring, there were red raspberry bushes and wild strawberries. Grandpa fished and hunted. Grandma made a garden every year, then canned fruits and vegetables and stored them in the fruit cellar. She made pies, bread, and noodles "from scratch." In addition to the abundance of nature, I was very fortunate to enjoy the affections of my many doting aunts and uncles.
SHOE AND SOCK
My Invisible Friends
I was also supremely blessed to have the companionship of Shoe and Sock, who were my invisible friends. I don't know when they came or where they came from, but they were my constant companions for as far back as I can remember. They didn't designate their gender, but I suppose I would say that Shoe was the male and Sock was the female. They were always with me and they loved me unconditionally.
For years I talked to them. I was confident of Shoe and Sock's reality, even though my human associates could not see or hear them. My invisible friends were so integrated into my social paradigm, it became a natural thing for Mom, and later for Dad, to ask, "What do Shoe and Sock think?" and so I would ask them for their council and if they responded, it was to my mind, of course, and not my parents.
One of the most vivid memories I have of our relationship is when one day we were down by the spring in the woods beyond the red raspberry bushes just behind the house. We often went there to play, to drink water from the tin cup, to feel the mossy rocks, smell the skunk cabbage, and pick violets. On this one particular sunny afternoon, the wood was dappled with sunlight coming through the young treetops when suddenly Shoe and Sock bade me to be very still. I obeyed, not knowing why I was to be very still until I saw a beautiful young deer, not 15 feet away, just standing there looking at us. We all stood there, not making a sound, not wanting to frighten the deer, until at last the deer lost interest and wandered away. When it was gone, Shoe and Sock and I rejoiced in the shared experience.
I was not permitted to go too close to the spring lest I fall in and drown, but there was an accessible little shallow pool with a rock on which to step, where we always, almost religiously when we came to the spring, had a sip of cold water from the tin cup that was kept there. This pool overflowed naturally and caused a gentle trickle of water to meander into the woods. One day as Shoe and Sock and I were amusing ourselves in the woods, I crouched by this little trickle of water, admiring the slick green moss that grew on the wet rocks, and watching for toads that sometimes jumped into the water, water which could not have been more than an inch or three deep for I could see the ground and the grass growing in the water and the dead leaves of seasons past. Shoe and Sock were nearby, amusing themselves.
I got to thinking about this stream of water, of which the spring was its source. Somehow I perceived at that tender age that, like the stream, I would wander gently away from my source and follow a path into the woods that would lead me through to the meadows beyond and I would merge with other streams in other faraway counties until we became a river. And I would follow the course, like a river, until it passed through the countryside and beyond, eventually coming to a great body of water, the ocean, and I would become one with the ocean and one with it all. That was a big thought for a little girl, but I never forgot it, for it was the promise of a destiny that I received that day.
When my dad came home from the service, things began to change. He made me stop sucking my thumb but he brought some excitement into my serene life. In spite of my mother cautioning him against such things, he would lift me up, especially if we had company, and I would stand on his hands, perching there precariously for a long moment until he would toss me into the air, grabbing my ankles as I plunged down to swing beneath his legs such that the top of my head nearly grazed the floor. No matter how many times he did it, people would gasp and then clap when he set me down to take a bow, grinning from ear to ear. I completely trusted my daddy because he adored me.
About the time I got too big for him to do that anymore, he sat me down for a little chat. He said we were going to move away from Grandma and Grandpa's house. We needed to find our own house because I was going to become a big sister. He told me I would have to learn to be responsible so that I could help my mom with the new baby. And he said that soon I would need to go to school and learn how to play with other children, but that, in order to do all this, I would have to give up Shoe and Sock.
While I was glad of the new adventures to come, I was very anxious about giving up my invisible friends and frankly did not see why I should have to. He tried to explain the difference between "the real world" and the world of imagination, but I was unable to assure him that Shoe and Sock were not imaginary, they were real. Finally he explained, "Because people will laugh at you if you take them to school with you. You don't want people to laugh at you, do you?" If I knew then what I know now, I might have said, "Let them laugh!" but I was an obedient child and allowed destiny to take its course. I accepted that it was time for me to leave Shoe and Sock behind.
But I did not want to leave them in the woods. I reasoned that by now they were accustomed to my company and they would be lonely in the woods without other children to companion. To my mind, they would be better off in the undergrowth that grew in the culvert about a quarter of a mile down the road from the house, near the crabapple tree. It was not as pretty there as it was in the woods, in spite of some hardy saplings, some wildflowers among the many weeds, and even water, when it rained. Yes, I regretted there was also a lot of road dust, but at least from here, Shoe and Sock could wave at the other children riding by in their parents' car or in the school bus, and they would not be lonely.
It was a big sacrifice for a little girl to make! Shoe and Sock were nearer and dearer to me than just about anything. So it was with heavy heart that we walked to the culvert, Daddy and me, hand in hand, and there I left them, telling them I would never forget them, and crying all the way home. I was nearly 40 years of age before I realized that leaving Shoe and Sock behind was my first big mistake.
Secondary Midwayer "JACK"
The next twenty years were turbulent. I will not here and now trouble you with my tales of woe, but suffice it to say I had my fair share of love and loss, work and play, drama and trauma. I was not contacted again by the celestial realms until I was 24 years of age. A little background is in order here, to set the stage for the scene that became a turning point in my life.
Some time after my parents' divorce in my early teens, with Mom getting custody of my new baby sister and Dad gaining custody of my little brother, I left home and migrated to Seal Beach, California, where I served as a live-in babysitter until a neighboring group of students talked me into attending college. After two years at Cal State Long Beach I became disillusioned with academia, I "dropped out," eventually becoming part of the counter-culture of the 60's. "God's Country Tribe" was the hippie commune that served as my surrogate family until we all eventually migrated to Oahu to be near one of our members who had been drafted into the Vietnam War and who enjoyed an occasional R&R in Hawaii. I was the last to migrate, arriving there early in 1968.
The commune having disbanded, I carved out a niche for myself in the little town of Hauula, Hawaii, on the north shore of Oahu, where I landed a job paying $1.65 an hour at Dodi's Department Store in a tiny little strip mall nearly a mile down the beach from my little bungalow in the former military officers' camp of Sacred Falls Resort, which I rented for $45 a month.
As I walked to work one morning along the beach side of Kamehameha Highway, I observed two "haolis" (white men) standing along the road ahead of me, enjoying the early morning vista. As I approached, I recognized one fellow as Kipper, who had occasionally visited our former South Laguna commune. We exchanged pleasantries and he introduced me to Alan, whose houseguest he was.
Several days later, Kipper knocked on my door and invited me to go for a walk with him. He carried with him a large machete; his body was muscular and healthy. He walked with such a powerful stride as he led me into the sugar cane fields of Sacred Falls, it was hard to keep up with him. As he whacked at the sugar cane with the machete, as if for emphasis, he talked intently about somebody named Machiventa Melchizedek, the teacher of Abraham, father of the Jewish race.
Sweating with the effort, his words filled with energy and power, he abruptly stopped still. I looked up and saw the sky roiling and churning with energy such as I had never seen before. It may well have been endorphins, but for me it was tantamount to a religious experience. I felt as if I had been taken up into the celestial realms! Whoever he was, I would never ever forget the name of Machiventa Melchizedek! Kipper had been turning me onto The Urantia Book, the fifth epochal revelation to humankind.
He also told me about my neighbors on Pokiwai Way whom he had also just introduced to The Urantia Book. They were Alan, the tall, attractive man of about 40 whom I had met earlier, and Alan's witty, worldly partner, Bill, who together comprised the Las Vegas show business company of Turner & Smith Productions, Inc. They had relocated to Hauula, Oahu, after falling under the spell of Bali Hai during the production of an ice skating "extravaganza" at the Waikiki Shell a year or two previously.
When we parted company that day, Kipper suggested that I visit my neighbors to learn more about Machiventa Melchizedek and about The Urantia Book, adding that if I showed up around suppertime, I could probably get something to eat as well, and so I became "a regular" at Pokiwai Way, along with a number of others. It was two years before I heard the story told that when Alan saw me that first day, coming down the coast highway, a voice in his head instructed him: "That is the woman you are going to marry."
To make a very long and interesting story short for the purpose of this narrative, Alan's story is that he had been a materialist, living as a hedonist, thinking like a cynic in the "sin city" of Las Vegas, Nevada. The social circle of those who made their home and their livelihood there was often quite "colorful," and for amusement, several of them investigated various paranormal activities. One day in 1955, Alan and some of his friends were working the Quiji Board when it spelled out the word U-R-A-N-T-I-A. They opted to not bother to look it up or find out more about what it meant but the word was indelibly burned in Alan's brain. There followed a series of unlikely contacts, such as the card table levitating, items falling unprovoked off the shelf, and books flying across the room of their own accord, but Alan staunchly refused to deal with a "poltergeist." He would not acknowledge the credibility of any entity that tried to get his attention by such unorthodox and immature methods.
It was not until Kipper brought the Urantia Book to Pokiwai Way that Alan learned about the invisible creatures that live midway between men and angels. Only then did he begin to take those "spirits" seriously. He learned that the "midwayers" were able to attain varying degrees of contact with the Thought Adjusters of certain "favorably constituted mortals through the skillful penetration of the minds of the latter's indwelling." (P.1258 - §1) Thus began the liaison between Alan and the celestial realms, notably the secondary midwayer designated 0802-AB a/k/a "Jack." Jack became our personal tour guide to the cosmos and a constant prodder of our spiritual nature. Pictured here is the green glow of midwayer Jack, standing next to contact personality Alan Frederick Smith in Waikiki, Hawaii, on our wedding day, June 27, 1971.
At that time, and on that remote outpost in the Pacific, we were quite convinced that the number of people who had ever heard of The Urantia Book was so miniscule as to warrant our banding together to keep the light of its truth burning. So, odd couple that we were, in 1971 Alan and I conjoined together in holy matrimony in order to foster the Urantia revelation, and throughout our marriage we were constantly companioned by our friend and associate Jack, the loyal secondary midwayer who was determined to train our deep minds for planetary service. Jack also introduced me to celestial artisan Athena, who over the next twenty years taught me to write.
Incredibly, and regrettably, all of the hundreds of pages of transcripts that were collected from our association with Jack from the beginning of our association in 1968 until we left the Islands on July 4, 1974, save one, were lost in the move. We continued our liaison with Jack as we ventured through San Diego into Las Vegas and on into Albuquerque where we settled. When we there learned that many Urantia Book Study Groups existed, even organized Urantia Societies, we no longer felt compelled to stay together on behalf of the revelation. That, coupled with our own increasing marital discord, led to our amicable divorce in 1981.
Before the dissolution of our long-standing liaison, Jack made certain to impress upon us two things: (1) the unimagined benefits to the celestials of having a Urantia Book-based couple with whom they could work; and (2) while he was not at liberty to tell us what it would be, there was something afoot, something about to happen "just around the corner" and we would recognize it when it came about.
Too late I realized that in losing the marriage, I also lost my connection with Jack! What a vital part of our marriage Jack had been! I did not realize that losing contact with Jack would leave me as bereft of spirit companionship and thus as vulnerable as when I lost the companionship of Shoe and Sock, but I know what they say is true: "You don't miss your water 'til your well runs dry!" and Jack was the bucket by which the living water was served to me fresh and cold, as from the spring down in the woods where I used to go with Shoe and Sock as a child.
I landed a great job and bought an adorable little house in the valley, but without Jack and without the structure of marriage, I spiritually floundered. Fortunately, I did have something to which I could look forward. It was "just around the corner."
In 1983, I met with Alan to facilitate the process of introducing Jack to his traveling companion, whom I have identified as "Tom" for confidentiality purposes, and I got to keep some of those transcripts. They are hardly profound, nor do they show us in particularly good light, but they do reveal how cleverly and effectively the celestials lure otherwise egocentric mortals into higher realms of consciousness. <link to Volume I, Part 2, "The Advance Corps">
Not long thereafter, Alan and Tom began their adventures and we lost contact. They did indeed invest in real estate and, with their profits, sojourned to Lake Van in Turkey as well as Alexandria, Egypt, where they visited the Taj Mahal at Agra, India, which inspired them to take up residency in the Far East. They spent two years in India, where, through the auspices of the Urantia Foundation, they were able to place upwards of 100 Urantia Books in libraries, institutions, and the homes of certain well-situated citizens. At the end of two years, they ventured on to Singapore and ultimately to Thailand, where Alan was laid to rest in 2003.
The Correcting Time is that which Jack sought to foretell and about which Athena sought to write: the opening of the circuits. We are "correcting" now from the effects of the Lucifer Rebellion and the Adamic Default, and from isolation. We have been isolated for thousands of years in order to keep the legacy of Lucifer from spreading throughout our System, but we believe we are now being reconnected and are able to hear cosmic broadcasts. The quarantine is ended, and celestial helpers from all over the universe, it seems, have been flocking to our world to watch and assist in this period of reclamation.
Whether the Harmonic Convergence had anything to do with the opening of the circuits is speculative but it contributes to the progressive thought pattern that there is something afoot on our world, and that somehow there is a new light shining upon us, that from this planet, steeped in sin and destruction, there will emerge a spiritual renaissance, a New Age of truth, beauty and goodness. There are many other movements that support such a growing reality and they are all a part of the Correcting Time.
According to the messages we receive in the Teaching Mission, the "evil one" is no more; only the effects of his cause remain, and that is part of our task in The Correcting Time. It is time to correct our own wayward path, our faulty thinking, our self-will, our poor choices based on self-interest, our drive for money and power and personal glory in exchange for one of higher consciousness. This higher consciousness will have an impact on politics, religion, ecology, economy, science, art, medicine, education, philosophy, sociology and government. It is not a church-oriented movement, although many have taken their light into the churches and houses of worship to infuse evolved religion with the spirit of revelatory truth. And it is worldwide.
In addition to the celestials introduced to us in the Teaching Mission, the Correcting Time is being assisted by a conglomeration of cultural creatives, light workers, channelers, gurus, political activists and 12-step proponents, all of which can legitimately stand under the same umbrella, for they are ALL interested in light and life, where peace and good will prevails among men and women of all shapes and sizes, races and colors, religions and creeds, wherein all will know God, praise God, and seek to serve God/Goddess, regardless of the name by which it is known or what form it takes.
The Teaching Mission is the branch of the New Age family tree that has its roots in the Urantia Papers. According to The Urantia Book, our planet is called Urantia, our System is Satania, perhaps named for Lucifer's lieutenant, Satan, who was instrumental in leading our planet astray. Even Adam and Eve, our Material Son and Daughter, were caught in that web of infamy that caused us to be quarantined from our cosmic neighborhood thousands of years ago. Some of us choose to believe that the trial of Lucifer versus Gabriel has been adjudicated and that we are being reconnected to our cosmic neighborhood in the Constellation of Norlatiadek, in the local Universe of Nebadon, in the Seventh Superuniverse of Orvonton which revolves around the Central Isle of Paradise, the eternal dwelling place of the living God, and that the universe broadcast system is being reopened.
According to TeaM proponents, this movement has been orchestrated by Machiventa Melchizedek and undertaken by the Teacher Corps, which is comprised of former mortals, not of this world but from other inhabited worlds who are in service to Jesus Christ Michael, the creator of our local universe of Nebadon. There are many other Teachers in service to the Teaching Mission, most notably Melchizedek receivers in the service of Machiventa and Michael. Theories abound that all this is preparatory to yet another phase of universe development, namely, the arrival on our world of Monjoronson, a Magisterial Son, along with Trinity Teacher Sons, a possible re-materialization by Machiventa, perhaps a resumption of duties by Adam and Eve, maybe even their children and, certainly, the second coming of Jesus, himself.
While speculation abounds, the hard work of character development and training goes on: to rid ourselves of the bad habits of centuries of genetic encoding, cultural conditioning, and religious indoctrination; to learn to appropriately love and trust ourselves and each other as Jesus does, as dignified and noble sons and daughters of the living God; and to extend that love and trust to others, so that our future can be built on a solid foundation.
The Teachers have been pouring forth various lessons and responding to our many questions, both serious and curious, since 1991. Many web sites showcase the channeled works of the varying segments of this New Age phenomenon known to us in the Teaching Mission as The Correcting Time, and many of them are joining forces for spiritual and political clout.
For all the years I lived with Alan, during all the hours I spent asking questions of Jack, it never occurred to me that I might be able to transmit and receive messages. As is often the case, we look to others to do for us what we could do for ourselves if we had faith.
The same summer I finally finished the novel I had written under Athena's tutelage, I learned of the Teaching Mission through Dr. John Wormeck ("Jeremiah"), a Urantia Book reader and physicist who had been involved in the Salt Lake City Urantia Book Study Group. His career brought him to live and work in Albuquerque where I lived and hosted a Urantia Book study group. As soon as he confided to me that the reason he drove back and forth to SLC every weekend was to listen to a celestial transmit spiritual messages through a mortal receiver, I knew my Dark Ages were over.
On February 1, 1992, I was present in Los Angeles when Teacher Ham announced the beginning of The Correcting Time and the plan to engage a Teacher Corps in a mission of planetary spiritual uplift. <link to Teacher Ham's Address: Welcome to Change>
In August of that year, the Woods Cross, Utah, and Pocatello, Idaho, groups converged to celebrate the anniversary of Jesus' birth on our world. For me, it was a reunion with the heavenly helpers and a chance to meet my new peers in this thrilling, long-awaited experience. <link to First TeaM Jesus Birthday Weekend in Pocatello>
It was at this weekend gathering that Jesus appeared before me on Saturday, and on Sunday I received my spiritual name "Gerdean" in a personal session with T/R Roland which is included herein below. This transmission provides historic information about the Teaching Mission.
Roland: This meeting is being held and recorded on August 23, 1992. In attendance are Karen and Roland for a private meeting with our Teacher, Ham.
HAM: Greetings, my children. I am Ham. I come here to be with you today, recognizing the momentous events of the past two days. It is a great joy for me to be in attendance with you during this weekend and to watch you interrelate with one another.
We are pleased, as a Teacher Corps, for the events of this day, for it is another milepost in our beginning initiatory time of the correction of Urantia. We are in need of your mortal interrelationship with us and we are grateful for your willingness to be a part of this great mission of ours.
Without further explanation, recognizing your needs, it would be my pleasure to attempt to give you, Karen, my counsel, my love, my friendship, in addressing your particular needs and requirements. Proceed.
Karen: Thank you, Ham. I feel very honored to speak with you and to be with these people -- my brothers and my sisters -- and to be incorporated into this fellowship, to be invited.
I want to convey my greetings to Michael. I would appreciate it if you would send my best regards to Jack, my friend, midwayer Jack, and thank him so much for the experience that I have had as a result of talking with him and those that he has brought into my life. I also want to express my appreciation for my wonderful Thought Adjuster.
I have some concerns about my-- my work here, the work of the realm. One of the things that concern me is that I have been in Albuquerque since 1976 and I fear that the work I do here is not meeting the need somehow, and I would ask you to address that -- if I am doing something wrong in my ministry, if I'm missing something I should see. I also, before I end that question, want to suggest that perhaps my time is over in Albuquerque. Would you respond to my concerns in that regard?
HAM: You are welcome, and desired to be here in attendance during this momentous occasion, with your friends, brothers and sisters, and the supernal teachers who attend us. Jack has been an active operative in the advanced group to communicate with mortals. His mission with you was indeed an experiment, loving experiment to communicate with those who were there. You are receptive, open, an advanced mortal of the realm.
I welcome you back to these communications and point out that as decisions were made for the beginning groups, Albuquerque was considered as a Teacher Base, as well as New Zealand and Utah. Because of emotional stresses and preparedness, Woods Cross became the first group to receive and transmit our message on a regular basis. This Corps of Teachers used the information gathered by Jack and others to perfect our interrelationship with mortals. You have been the key instrument in this perfecting time of communications.
It is for you your free will choice to resume your connection with Teacher group or assist in marshalling a study group together, which will evolve into a base for an additional Teacher in Albuquerque. We seek your assistance wherever you choose to be in your location. Your desire to receive supernal communications and teaching is known to us and is appreciated, as often I have said, "Seek and you are sought."
I know human nature well enough to understand that you desire a more direct answer and direction. Unfortunately, we are proscribed from giving direct commands to those who are in decisive moments of their lives, as you know. Therefore, in keeping with that proscription, I reiterate that you may choose which area or what group to maintain this communication.
In time there will be, given the cooperation of will creatures in your area, a Teacher group. If you are patient and wish to wait, it will become clear to you your course and guidance will be provided to you by Teachers of our nature and your indwelling Spirit.
Hesitate not to attend any of our groups of Teachers. It is with open arms you will be received. Is this an answer which clarifies your choices?
Karen: Yes, Ham.
HAM: Very well. I will proceed to your next concern.
Karen: You used the phrase "hesitate" and over the course of the past 20 years I have written a novel, and Jack once told me that when it was finished, "Do not hesitate to get it published" and I understand that you can't direct me to a publisher. What I would ask is that you help me understand if the work I've put in this book is in some way a way that I can teach and proselytize in my own fashion those things I feel strongly about as a result of having lived the life I've lived as a student of the Master. I want to be able to touch people and encourage them, both temporally and spiritually. In Los Angeles, you spoke of the Corps of Elite, and I have some wonderment as to whether this might be my avenue -- or an avenue -- to pursue. Can you respond to that?
HAM: Your desire to help your brothers and sisters of this mortal realm in joy and happiness, spiritual and material well-being, is a noble cause, one which you have held for many years under conditions of great stress and trial and tribulation. You have been tested and not been found wanting. You have been tested and found to be of sound character, trustworthy in your execution of your desire to assist your brothers and sisters. The book contains many admirable lessons to those who would read it, and it is for you to follow your indwelling Spirit's direction as the communication opens and develops between you those things which are dear to your heart. Your heart's desires are good; to follow them is wisdom.
Karen: Speaking of my heart's desires, I have read many times that the Master sends us out two and two, and I am a child of the realm and would appreciate a mate, and yet I have suffered much emotional misdirection. Am I to wait further? Are my expectations in this incorrect? How am I to feel about my human need for a partner?
HAM: Yes, confusing this powerful need is within the mortal plane, for all Urantia creations/creatures … creatures have built in within their psychological pattern a need for love companions. This beautiful quality of human being also is the essence of the desire to return to the Father whole and healthy, in love, and to be embraced in the eternal embrace of the Father.
As you become more and more attuned to your spiritual nature, as you have done in the past years, you will become more and more a reflection of the love and the light of the Father, which will be irresistible to other human beings. In this process, you may select from many a worthy spiritually-guided helpmate and love companion, recognizing that this union is based upon two healthy God-seeking individuals who join forces on this mortal plane to help each other attain greater spiritual insight. A love relationship which is based upon this premise is guaranteed to be successful, even if it does not endure the lifetime of either partner. Success is in a day of loving purely another human being and you shall have this opportunity often. There will be no loneliness as the spiritual insight becomes clearer and the purpose of your life is made manifest to begin and to take priority and precedence in all matters therein.
This is a loving message, and one which will evolve into the reality of the forefront of your thinking. Does this answer?
Karen: Your loving message causes me to smile, Ham. I appreciate your response.
I have been asked, when I have this conversation with you, to ask if I may know my spiritual name. May I know my spiritual name?
HAM: One moment. [Several moments later was heard the clear chirrup of a solitary bird, which continued to sing throughout the rest of the transmission.] Best phonic representation of your spiritual name is Gerdean. Gerdean. Best spelling: G-e-r-d-e-a-n. Gerdean.
Gerdean: Thank you.
I want to thank you for the words you said earlier, that you find me trustworthy, and I want to apologize for my weaknesses. I'm-- I'm concerned that I'm not a very good agondonter. I really, really need spirit in my life. I'm very needy. I need my Father. I need these people. And I appreciate the kind words you said.
HAM: Why, daughter, Gerdean, you need not ask for my forgiveness, nor the Father's. His door is always open to you, and His spirit is always reaching down to His child, to seize your hand, and yours in His, walk together whenever life becomes a trial. Your status as an agondonter is not violated by your presence with me, for it is this reason we chose to communicate our thoughts and our teachings through you mortals, such as Roland, Rutha, Rebecca, which you have witnessed this weekend.
Your knowledge of this method is personally tested and you understand that in faith of its correctness and in faith which is generated from the error correction of transmission comes not absolute assurety but it is still required that you believe without seeing. For you even now are developing morontial eyes which may give you glimpses of my being here with you, glimpses of the Father, and glimpses of Christ Michael, glimpses of the Teachers who will surround you.
Never in your lifetime will you be able to abandon belief systems to physical reality, for always shall there be an element in this experience which will require you to maintain your beautiful faith. As this develops, and as the love in your heart grows, all dark corners of your personal experience will be flooded with the light of the love of the Father and you shall not be alone in any sense of the word. This is our promise to you.
Does that answer?
Gerdean: More than answers, it gives me much to ponder. I have no further questions at this time. Only my gratitude and appreciation and much love.
HAM: You have rightly spoken. The words which I have given you today will, in time, form further foundations for greater and greater growth, which you now anticipate as you have made the decision to serve the Father in all things and, in His will, become the joyous agondonter Gerdean who walks upon Urantia.
Welcome, my daughter, back to us, your Teachers. Be ever diligent and aware of our promptings. Be ever diligent and aware of the inner guidance, which is the great Guide, all-powerful, all-knowing fragment of God that dwells within you, waiting to receive you with open arms as the betrothed the bridegroom.
I love you. Christ Michael loves you. And the Father loves you. There is no insecurity in that. For now, until we meet again, safe journey. Farewell.
That November, my house was broken into and my television was stolen. I was facing a long, lonely winter without entertainment so it seemed appropriate that I should attempt to master the practice of Stillness. Jeremiah had returned to the SLC area, but he committed to the practice of Stillness with me twice a week, on Tuesday and Thursday evenings from 9:30 until 10:00, at which time I spent 10 minutes being still and 20 minutes journaling whatever came to mind. My entries quickly deepened from "to do" lists into character studies. I extended my Stillness sessions to three per week and soon began to experience what is called "automatic handwriting." I received a cordial message from midwayer Jack, encouraging me.
Our study group, which had earlier requested a Teacher be assigned to us, learned from Teacher Welmek in Indianapolis that one named Tomas had been assigned to the Albuquerque area. As I watched the horizon for who would be the transmitter/ receiver, (the T/R), my personal Teacher Trieste introduced herself to me and began to counsel me on personal correction issues. Through journaling, Teacher Ham and midwayer Van El came to visit. Teacher Welmek visited followed by Tomas.
Then, in February, a friend called to suggest that I forego the pencil and paper for a tape recorder, and so on the rainy evening of February 14, 1993, instead of turning on the light after Stillness and picking up the pen, I reached over and turned on the recorder and made the leap of faith. I opened my mouth and uttered the word that appeared before my mind's eye, and the next word, and then the next until a stream of words appeared, as if on tickertape, which I read into the tape recorder. And so I became a transmitter/receiver.
In March of that year, Jeremiah and his bride Nolus came down from SLC to join with me and with Jared, who was visiting from Nashville, to celebrate the establishment of the Albuquerque Teacher Base. That first full year of private ministry, including memorable sessions with Rebecca, Jared and others, established the nature of the relationship that developed between Tomas and me as his transmitter/receiver; he prepared me for the extended public ministry in store for us ahead. <link to Vol. I, Part 3, Private Ministry of Teacher Tomas>
At the end of 1993, I sold my house, quit my job, and moved to Pocatello, Idaho, where Tomas engaged in a two-year Internship with Teacher Daniel. It was a memorable two years. The bonds that were established between me and Rutha and Isaac as co-T/Rs were incredible. The personal correction we individually underwent affected us all profoundly. The friendships that developed between the participants are deep and enduring. <link to Tomas' Internship, Vol. II, Parts 1, 2, 3, etc.>-
Circumstances changed at the end of two years. My mother's spouse fell seriously ill and she prevailed upon me to move back east with her but I was not moved to act until Tomas was, almost simultaneously, given his own teacher base assignment in Pittsburgh, PA, less than an hour away from my home town of Butler. The orchestration of that change could only be described as "celestial". In fact, my entire sojourn with Tomas was divinely guided. <link to Tomas in Pittsburgh, Vol. III, Parts 1, 2, 3, etc.>
Those in the Pittsburgh group who yearned for more time with their celestial friends began meeting in the upper room of my used bookstore "Serendipity!" on Main Street. <link to Tomas in Butler, Vol. IV, Parts 1, 2, 3, etc.>
The sojourn in Western Pennsylvania came to an end soon after Angus [Thoroah] and I were wed and Mom decided to move west. Tomas turned over his teacher base to Merium, and with midwayer Gorman, What-About-Bob (a cherubim), and Lady (his sanobim companion), along with our personal teachers, we sojourned to Northern Idaho where, following a stint with Pastor Daniel's "Church Within" in Post Falls, Idaho, we spent a season with the Coeur d'Alene TeaM before moving on to Spokane and revitalizing the Spokane Teacher Base. All of Volume V is still under construction.
Tomas and I traveled around the country for nearly a decade before we returned with Angus (a/k/a "Thoroah") to the teacher base that had been established in March of 1993. Within a month, the Central New Mexico Teacher Base was activated. That first year we were joined by Teacher Anatolia, who co-taught with Tomas for two years. When Tomas took a sabbatical from teaching, Merium became our mentor. In 2008, she was hostess for Most High Observer Andromadeus, who taught for a year on planetary seraphic government. <link to Tomas in New Mexico, Vol. VI, Parts 1, 2, 3, etc>
As I look at the ways I have succeeded in my mission, it seems that my contribution has been to illustrate, through my life and through my writings, the relationships that develop among and between the mortal students and the heavenly helpers; how these relationships affect the way we perceive of ourselves and thus others; and, ideally, how we can learn to treat others as these invisible friends have treated us -- with infinite patience, amazing devotion, and special affection. As I look back at the ways I have failed, I am comforted by my faith and by the companionship of my invisible friends. ~ Amen and farewell.